Memories

The things that go through our minds are often blurred and confusing. You know and have probably experienced some kind of Dejavu but there is a mind altering experience that is a bit simpler but very powerful memory.

It is almost as if you can travel through time and re-experience things. When I think back to the time I lived in a two-room apartment in Sioux City Iowa I can feel some of the same feelings. I was alone but not lonely looking forward to life every day. I was on my own and had as much freedom as I needed. Much of the pain and trouble is missing but the same thoughts that accompanied my past experience also come back to me. The intensity is not the same but the experience is.

Christmas can also be a time for remembering but it is not at the forefront of my thoughts. I suppose it was not as eventful. Instead I remember days of walking to work in the snow something that I enjoyed. I remember nights on the street with Christian friends. I remember the church gatherings. In fact there were a lot of simple things I enjoyed when I was in my 20's.

I still enjoy the simple things but the memories haven't fermented. The edges aren't all soft and blurry just yet. They are too close for me to reach out and touch. They are too close to the present. I suppose also the first time you do something is the most memorable.

I remember my first days as a Christian or as a dedicated Christian. I remember the Christian learning experiences and the encounters. Those are some of the things I cherish the most. Christmas is nice but it is mostly about getting and giving things. It is mostly about tangential relationships with other family members with a group or in a party. It's not about the close personal one on one confrontations with others. Those are the most vivid memories.

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